Soldiers Hate These Marine Jokes

Peter Stec
May 28, 2013
Marine Joke Poster

The marines are an elite military unit with serious obligations and heavy responsibilities. Their skills and duties are basic compared to other branches of service, but just as useful. They are almost always placed in the frontline, and sometimes made fun for this. It’s no disrespectful matter; in fact, everyone related to the army find cracking specific jokes entertaining and eases some of the homesickness and anxiety off. Here are some marine jokes and why they are supposedly funny.

“Excuse me sir, but your ship’s door is open.”

A marine in uniform went into a store to buy some items to take back to base. While shopping for necessities, a lady came up to him and said, “Excuse me Sir, but the door of your ship is open.” The marine did not understand what the woman was saying, so he just smiled and continued shopping. Some while later, a man came up to him and said, “Excuse me Sir, but your fly is open.”

Immediately, the marine discretely closed his fly and recalled the lady’s comment and understood what she meant. While in line for check out, he saw the lady who came up to him earlier, approached her and asked, “Excuse me ma’am, but when my ship’s door was open, did you happen to see a marine standing at attention?” On hearing this, the lady thought for a moment before replying, “I’m sorry I didn’t, but I did see an old marine sitting on two worn duffel bags.”

Marines have a knack for sexual jokes, mostly because they are predominantly composed of male units. It’s also said to be common among army members to have little or no romantic relationships because of their restrictive duties. So, whenever a marine gets a chance to leave headquarters, flirting with attractive women is often a hobby. Some can even be cocky, if not mischievous late at night, just to get some sexual pleasure; if only for the meantime.

Check out the best utility knife.

Acting without Delay

An Air Force general, Marine Corps general and Navy admiral went fishing together. They drank ice cold beer while waiting for fish to bite on their baits. After a while, the Navy admiral stood up and said, “I need to piss.” So he stood, stepped out of the boat, walked on the water towards the shore. After relieving himself he walked back on water and into the boat. A few minutes later, the Air Force general did the same.

Now, the Marine Corps general was amazed and thought that if the two could walk on water, so can he. So to prove himself just as worthy, the Marine Corps general acted with no delay. He stood up, stepped out of the boat and immediately fell into the water. The Navy admiral and Air Force general looked at each other and the admiral said, “I think we should have told him where the rocks are.”

This is hilarious in the army, because the marines are often told what to do and are perceived to be inferior to the navy and air force. Unless they are SEALs (Sea, Air, Land) units, marines are not thought to be significantly skilled as those in the other military services. They are also thought of as rash and adrenaline-driven instead of unified and polished in teamwork.

Perks of Being in the Marines

As a consolation, here are some of the perks of being part of the marines that no other military service can deny as advantageous.

  • Best haircut. No bad hair days and no need for shampoo.
  • Best mascot: bulldog as opposed to the navy: goat.
  • Best emblem: Eagle, Globe and Anchor.
  • Best job description: Invade and Go home.
  • Best war monument: Iwo Jima
  • Another great job description: Cruise on a ship, then hit the beach.
  • Best tactical knife equipment: Ka-Bar
  • Has the toughest Boot Camp.
About The Author
Hey Knife Up gang! I'm Pete, and I'm just another man like you in a small rural town who loves the outdoors as much as the other million internet users that cruise sites like KnifeUp.com every day. The difference is that I like to share what I know and research what I don't totally know so that YOU can have all the info you need to feel confident and prepared for all things outdoors-related! And, for those who care, I have 42 years of wilderness canoeing and bushcraft experience in Northern Ontario and spend most of my Summers covered in mosquitos and fish slime, but hey, it's a lifestyle choice, eh?

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