Once sailors start gathering inside the bar, all hell breaks loose. It’s where the fun and laughter begins. Listening to their stories, however horrible and absurd they may be, always brings us to another carefree place where we laugh our hearts out. Here are some knee-slappers about sailors and marines. If you love the following jokes, it’s because the Navy made it. If they suck, then the Navy must have heard it from the Air Force.
Long ago, when the waves are still ruled by sailing ships, there was one on the seas preparing to be boarded by pirates. With the crew getting scared and all, the captain roared, “Bring to me my red shirt”! His first mate came running with one. His captain put it on and led everyone to greet the boarding party. They successfully repelled the pirates, though they suffered some casualties.
Later during the day, a lookout warned that another two pirate vessels were on their way, and preparing boarding parties. When the men cowered in anxiety and fear, the captain simply bellowed to his first mate “My red shirt, now”! The boarding commenced, the battle is waged, and the captain and crew again repelled the pirates successfully, even if they incurred more casualties this time.
Weary from all the battles, the exhausted crew settled on deck for the night recounting what had happened. An ensign asked the captain why the red shirt. He was rewarded with a captain’s stare, and a smirk, “If ever I am wounded, my red shirt will hide my blood and wound, thus my men can continue the fighting unafraid.” All the men then marveled of their captain’s courage in silence.
As dawn came, the lookout reported 20 pirate ships loudly and in disbelief. All the crew looked up to their captain, expecting the same command. But the captain, calmly bellowed, “Quick, my brown pants”! – SO WHEN I SHIT MYSELF, YOU MEN WOULDN’T NOTICE IT!
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