7 Army Jokes That’ll Guarantee to Make You Laugh

Peter Stec
April 27, 2021
Army Jokes

Being in the military may not be a laughing matter, but it would surely be a great help to laugh about serious things from time to time. Whether you are in the army or not, you can share army jokes among friends at parties or get-togethers. You do not need to be in the army to understand these jokes as long as you know some basic terms and phrases that are used in the military. These jokes are fun and a great way to lighten up the mood when things get too serious, awkward, or tense. It is also a great way to ensure that everyone is having fun, especially those people who do not like to do other things at the party like dancing.

Below is a list of army jokes that you and your friends can enjoy when you get together in one place.

“If you lose sight of the enemy, look behind you”.

Army Jokes

This joke means that if you cannot see your enemy whom you have been exchanging bullets with, it is possible that the enemy is able to sneak behind you, so always be on your guard and look behind you when this happens. This is funny because it shows that someone can be stupid enough to allow his enemy out of his sight and sneak behind him.

“In the battlefield, anything you do can get you shot, even if you are doing nothing.”

This only means that whether you are bravely shooting at the enemies or hiding behind a sandbag like a coward, you can still get shot if you are in the middle of a battle. This is funny because those soldiers who are doing nothing can also get shot as much as those soldiers who are in the middle of the gunfight.

“Avoid being the first, the last, and the volunteer.”

This means that in everything that you do as a soldier, you should avoid being the first or the last one to do it. Likewise, never volunteer for anything. This is because people who are the first or the last and people who love to volunteer usually find themselves in the most crappy situations (like cleaning port-a-johns).

“If an enemy is in range, so are you.”

If you spot an enemy who is within range, this also means that you are within that enemy’s range since it is based on the distance between you and the enemy. You may find it easier to shoot the enemy once he is in range, but the enemy will also find you an easy target since you are also within his shooting range. The bottom line is that you are both in a dangerous situation.

“If it says that the grenade’s fuse will burn in seven seconds, be ready to throw the grenade away in four seconds.”

Grenade fuses have a tendency to burn much faster than you expect. This is why you have to throw the grenade away a few seconds before the ideal time to prevent it from exploding in your hands.

“Incoming fire has the right of way.”

This means that anyone should avoid the incoming fire and let it pass without hitting anything. You should not get in the way of an incoming fire, unless you want to get hit and die.

“Try to look unimportant, especially when the enemy is low on ammunition.”

This joke suggests that soldiers should try to look like someone who does not hold a high position in the military because enemies will try to use their last remaining ammos to kill high ranking officials.

These are some funny army jokes that you can share with friends who want to have a good laugh. These will especially be a hit among friends who are in the military. Check out KnifeUp’s review of the best machete, bowie knife, and multitool.

About The Author
Hey Knife Up gang! I'm Pete, and I'm just another man like you in a small rural town who loves the outdoors as much as the other million internet users that cruise sites like KnifeUp.com every day. The difference is that I like to share what I know and research what I don't totally know so that YOU can have all the info you need to feel confident and prepared for all things outdoors-related! And, for those who care, I have 42 years of wilderness canoeing and bushcraft experience in Northern Ontario and spend most of my Summers covered in mosquitos and fish slime, but hey, it's a lifestyle choice, eh?

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